What is happening to me?

For the second time in my life I have become a hermit.  Maybe that is too strong a word  for my lack of activity, but while I get up early in the morning I do little more than sit all day and in the same chair.  If I could only garden or do any outside work I would be all right, but my heart and injuries limit me. 

When I was in the naval hospital at San Diego I had goals that when met were victories.  First, I wanted to hold the medicine on my stomach and avoid an IV every four hours. This accomplished I next moved from a room into the ward where I had company.  I considered it a huge victory when I first was able to leave the hospital for the grounds and the ship store.

But then I lost interest in leaving the ward.  I became so lazy I let someone bring me my food tray.  Then I came to my senses, recognizing that while I was not a recluse in that I enjoyed  other people, I had become satisfied with my inactive life and feared what lay ahead.  I changed abruptly and demanded that I be discharged immediately from the hospital.  I refused to listen to urgings that I wait a few more weeks.  Not knowing what faced me I left and a few days later I was on the way to join the crew of USS Pickens.

That's the type of resolve I need now.